What God Showed Me

The other day I was sitting in the park reading and praying. I went to Romans 6:21 -

21 What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in^b Christ Jesus our Lord.


This really really spoke to me. See it is the Easter Season, or it was before when I was reading this and people always look back over the the Passion of Christ. I prefer to look at his life and how he is still a living God. Back to Romans.

What benefit did you reap at the time from this things you are now ashamed of?

How many times did we say or do something that felt so good at the time but about 10 min. later you were wishing that you hadn't do it. I know that I have. I know that I have said something because I was so mad or wish that another person would hurt the way that I have. Or maybe if I look to them and all there problems I will not have time to look at myself. But I always regret it. I have done so many things that were a lot of fun and great until afterwards and I knew they were wrong but in the back of my mind I was all ready wishing that I was not doing it. All they did in the end was cause me pain and for what? What was it all for?

Romans states that we are set free from sin and have become slaves to God. What does that mean? I felt that God was telling me in that moment that I am his. Why am I not looking to holiness, why am I not trying in everything that I do to be more like him? If I am his slave and the wage of sin is death why am I not trying to stay alive? I know that it is not talking physical death but the death of my soul.

Which is worse to feel nothing when you see a wonderful sight like a sunset painted only by God or the fist flower after a long cold winter. When you feel the warmth of the sun on your skin or not feeling all this. It has to be worse than being in the grave. Why then do I forget that as a Christian I belong to God. I am his not a slave but a child in his hands. I have been set free of sin and now look to God for holiness.

The Bible says "we all fall short" I know that I do. I am not perfect. I would like to be I would like to never hurt a friend or say and do things that I know I will regret. I would like to look back at my life and have very few regrets. But I fall short. Only God grace will get me through.

I am in a place in my life that I really could not do without him. I don't know that I would be able to go on if I didn't know that God Loved Me. I know to some of you that sounds crazy but to me it is a life line. I must have him. At night he holds me close. I can share my deepest secrets with him and my saddest regret.