Test Results

My test came out good. I found out that my cervix wall is to thick and that I do not ovulate on a normal cycle. Also they said that I could be days pregnant. That could be one reason as to why my cervix wall was so thick. I really haven't been letting myself think about this too much. I only told my husband that the Dr. said that could be the the reason for the wall to be thick. I really don't want to get my hopes up and then have them crash down on me.

I think that more than likley my wall is thick because my clock is off and all that good stuff.

I am very thankful that God took care of me and sent me to the Dr. when I needed to go even if I didn't want too. They told me that if I don't have a kid or bleed as I should then it could cause some lasting problems and if not addressed lead to cancer. God is so good. He sent me when it was nothing to be worried about and an easy fix. Thanks to all of you who sent up a quick prayer. It really did help.

I haven't been on here much. I know that I set this blog up so that I had an outlet to talk about the things that I felt couldn't talk about with my friend and family. I hate that I feel that I have to be strong for all of them. I don't know where this came from or why I feel this way. I don't really know why I will tell the whole world what is happening and yet people that I know love me I have a really hard time talking about it.

There have been some crazy things going on with me.

First, I have been having some medical test done. I don't know if anything is wrong or if I'm just making a lot of small things into something big. I have been having a lot of weird symptoms for about 5 months. I googled them, by the way never do that. I really doesn't matter because google is not a doctor but it gave me the worst of the worst. In other words google said I could die. I am being very over dramatic but it wasn't a comfort. Then I called and asked for some family history. That was bad. My family really should have taken better care of them selfs. So I have vowed to start taking better care of myself.

Last week I was really really scared about all of it. I talked to my husband and we spent a lot of time in prayer. I know that God is there for me. He gave me a peace about it all. If there is something really wrong then I will still praise him. If all is well, I will praise him. God has giving me so much in my life that I really am leaning on him though all of this. I'm not going to worry or stress about all of it.

I went to the doctor last week and she said that it was more than likely nothing to worry about but she is going to run more tests. So later this week more tests YES I LOVE TESTS. I will let you all know how everything goes.

Bad Day

I got up this morning to go work out. All was fine except that I went snow skiing for the first time in many many years and I hurt. Not as bad as I thought that I would but I still hurt. Well I get up way to early in the morning to get back on the work out track. I get in my husbands truck and it starts up just fine for me then I come back get ready for work and it just won't start. I was really upset. I need to get to work. I need to well have a way to get around. So I called someone to take me to work and got there not to late.

I go at lunch to try to get it to start and it still won't so I start doing all the things that you are suppost to do to make it work. You know check the battery check the gas all that stuff then I call my husband who said to me "If you did all that its really unnecessary to call me." I don't know what made him mad but I just wanted to let him know. It is his truck. If I didn't call he would be all mad and gripe because I didn't call him.

Do you ever feel like you can not win. It really does not matter what I do sometimes I just feel like I can not win. I love him and nothing will change that but sometimes I just wish that he would tell me that all will be ok. I do not really need you to fix it. I just need to know that he cares you know?